But now that I've put those feelings out in the universe, I cannot and will not take them back. But I do believe in Karma, which means that I have to reflect, meditate and deal with my feelings or I'm destined to ruminate on this subject without end. I need to work on learning how to forgive.
Here's a quote in Eastern philosophy that explains my ultimate goal in forgivness:
The forgiving acquire honours here, and a state of blessedness hereafter. Those men that ever conquer their wrath by forgiveness, obtain the higher regions. Therefore has it been said that forgiveness is the highest virtue. ~ The Mahbharata
Without forgiveness, I know that I will always hand over my power and my control to the one that has wronged me.
So I guess I'm on a deeply personal journey on learning to forgive. I could just try to forget about it, but I don't think that I would learn anything and I would only suppress it until it would stop my personal growth or make me physical ill.
I could pray about it and hand it over to God. I've done this with many difficult situations in my life and my personal faith has always provided me with a sense of comfort and success. However, this time, along with my faith, I think I'm going to look towards those who have sought and found forgiveness in their lives.
According to Robert Enright, author of the book Forgiveness is a Choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope, "[t]here is a basic model of forgiveness, [which] has four phases: first, uncovering your anger; second, deciding to forgive; third, working on forgiveness; and fourth, discovery and release from emotional prison." Interesting.
Also, according to an essay The Gift of Fogiveness written by Ronda Bresnick Hauss, a licensed clinical social worker, she refers to Enright to demonstrate, "...that not forgiving, and holding on to bitterness, resentment and anger are the four walls of a prison cell. Forgiveness, he argues, is the key that opens the door of the cell." Now that's food for thought!
