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I'm a busy mom of two very active boys and and married to a wonderful husband and love of my life. I work in social services. But what's really awesome, is that I can blend my love the law and working with people with disabilities. But my true passion is writing, which helps me make sense of my world.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Forgiveness

I haven't blogged in a while because the last blog totally drained me. It was the first time that I expressed those kinds of feelings in years.

But now that I've put those feelings out in the universe, I cannot and will not take them back. But I do believe in Karma, which means that I have to reflect, meditate and deal with my feelings or I'm destined to ruminate on this subject without end. I need to work on learning how to forgive.

Here's a quote in Eastern philosophy that explains my ultimate goal in forgivness:

The forgiving acquire honours here, and a state of blessedness hereafter. Those men that ever conquer their wrath by forgiveness, obtain the higher regions. Therefore has it been said that forgiveness is the highest virtue. ~ The Mahbharata

Without forgiveness, I know that I will always hand over my power and my control to the one that has wronged me.
 
So I guess I'm on a deeply personal journey on learning to forgive. I could just try to forget about it, but I don't think that I would learn anything and I would only suppress it until it would stop my personal growth or make me physical ill.
 
I could pray about it and hand it over to God. I've done this with many difficult situations in my life and my personal faith has always provided me with a sense of comfort and success. However, this time, along with my faith, I think I'm going to look towards those who have sought and found forgiveness in their lives.
 
According to Robert Enright, author of the book Forgiveness is a Choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope, "[t]here is a  basic model of forgiveness, [which] has four phases: first, uncovering your anger; second, deciding to forgive; third, working on forgiveness; and fourth, discovery and release from emotional prison."  Interesting.
 
Also, according to an essay The Gift of Fogiveness written by Ronda Bresnick Hauss, a licensed clinical social worker, she refers to Enright to demonstrate, "...that not forgiving, and holding on to bitterness, resentment and anger are the four walls of a prison cell. Forgiveness, he argues, is the key that opens the door of the cell."  Now that's food for thought!
 


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